A Day at Disney: Villains
by Average Nerd 3456
Summary: Randomness involving the Disney Villains and their misadventures in the world of Disney. Hijinks to follow. Rival fanfic to A Day at Disney: Heroes.
1. Therapy

The Disney Villains sat around a table as they all talked about their defeats while having drinks. To them, it felt good to get out their emotions, even though some of them refused to bring up their feelings.

"…I pushed him off a cliff into that stampede and blamed it all on my nephew, so he ran away and never came back…until years later, when he defeated me. I had everything and he took it away from me!" Scar said.

"You were still a good king, Scar…" Zira said as she nuzzled her mate.

Everyone gagged at this sight before Shere Khan cleared his throat and asked, "Does anyone want to go next?"

There was silence until Gaston scoffed.

"I WOULD go next, but you guys already know my story…" he said, causing groans to come from the villains. "Lefou, get me another beer."

"On it!" Lefou said as he ran off.

"How long issss thisss going to take?" Kaa asked.

"No clue, but who wants to go next? Anyone?" Hades asked his friends. "What is this? An audience or a mosaic?"

Captain Hook raised his only hand and said, "I suppose I should go next…"

"Go on." Jafar said.

"That's right, darling, we're all friends here." Cruella said, which made everyone either shrug or shake their heads.

"Well, I'm the captain of the most fearsome group of pirates to ever sail Neverland's waters. I cannot remember how we ended up there, but when we arrived, I found myself a nemesis…an immortal twelve-year-old boy in green tights with a fairy side girl." Hook said.

"And what was his name?" Maleficent asked.

"Why does he like fairies? What's so special about them? No offense, Maleficent." Yzma asked.

"Didn't he also like that chief's daughter or something? Also, what about that Wendy girl?" Kronk asked while trying to list everyone.

Yzma glared at him and shook her head, rubbing her temples.

"His name is Peter Pan, but I have no idea why he likes fairies." Hook said with a shrug. "Anyways, he chopped off my hand and fed it to that infernal crocodile!"

"Truly it is an unholy demon! I shall send it back to hell where it belongs!" Frollo said as he stood up from his chair.

"Don't go crusadin' now, judge." Dr. Facilier said while twirling his cane around.

"My grandfather had his hand cut off…as well as the rest of his limbs." Kylo Ren said.

"We know!" General Hux and Captain Phasma said in unison.

Clayton glared at everyone and said, "Enough of this! Can we PLEASE move onto someone else?"

"I don't think we should move on. This is all very interesting…" Ursula said.

"Right, Clayton, dear, we can all learn from our mistakes just by talking." Mother Gothel said. "According to Hans, it solves everything."

"At least no one stuffs crackers down your throat here…" Iago said with a groan.

"But Frollo here is a sly dog for trying to get with Esmeralda. I mean, who wouldn't?" Sykes asked.

"Excuse me? She's a gypsy witch, there's nothing lucky about that." Frollo said.

Soon enough, every villain began to talk at once with their own thoughts and ideas. Hans couldn't be happier.

"Looks like another successful meeting…" Bellwether said to her leader.

"You think? This was great!" Hans said with a laugh.


	2. Sidekicks get some Spotlight

It all started when the villains decided to leave for…reasons. Now, a handful of the sidekicks were the only ones left in the hideout and they were going to try to prove themselves as more than just bumbling idiots or those who work hard and are ignored.

"Ugh, I'm SO bored!" Banzai said with a groan.

As if on cue, Ed started to laugh.

"Shut up, Ed!" Shenzi said under her breath.

The other sidekicks in the room backed off slightly to not get involved with the fight that could ensue between the three hyenas.

"Oh no, they're revolting again." Sir Hiss said.

"What a sssurprissse…" Kaa said sarcastically.

Kronk looked around and asked, "So, what exactly are we going to do until they come back? There's not many places we can go to."

"Ah yes, I forgot about the hero territories. We only have the Shadowlands while the First Order has the Black Spire Outpost in Batuu." Stayne said with a nod.

"And the heroes get everything else with the exception of that shopping area not too far from here, which is free for both heroes and villains." Helga said before seeing a raven fly in. "Oh god, no, not him…"

The raven turned into a human with black hair and scars on his body as he said with a smirk, "'Ello, beasties."

The hyenas stopped fighting and looked up at him.

"Oh, it's just you, Diaval." Shenzi said.

"We were just figuring out what we were going to do since the other guys left." Kronk said. "Got any suggestions?"

"Yeah, it's super boring here and our bosses left!" Banzai said, gritting his teeth.

_Good god, I hate him…_Helga thought as she saw Diaval smirk again.

"I'm feeling a little mischievous today, so let's just go out and check out the heroes' territory." he said as he pulled the other sidekicks close to him. "It'll be fun!"

They all just stared at him in confusion.

"We cannot possibly do that. Don't you know what happened last time we tried to get in their territory?" Stayne asked as he shook his head.

Everyone shivered at the thought of the time the heroes ambushed Hans by hanging him from the flagpole all night until cutting him down the next morning. Hans had refused to talk about that little incident since then.

"Oh goodnessss, no. We are not going through that again…" Sir Hiss said while Ed nodded in agreement.

Diaval stared at everyone's expressions and couldn't help, but feel amused at their reactions.

"I guess that makes me the leader at the moment." the shapeshifter said with a shrug.

The sidekicks groaned slightly upon hearing that. Of course, he would say that since he was Maleficent's sidekick after all…

"I don't think sssso. We already have bosssssesss." Kaa said. "Why would you be the leader?"

Diaval shrugged at the talking snake and said, "Well, obviously my boss is at a higher rank from your bosses."

"Our boss is in the same rank!" Shenzi said with a groan as she gestured to Banzai and Ed.

"I don't think he cares…" Helga said to the female hyena in a hushed tone.

_Looks like the beasties need a little more convincing. _Diaval thought.

"All of you could…prove yourselves to your bosses by getting some hero territory." he said.

Their expressions slowly changed from uncertainty to interest as he said that, much to his satisfaction.

It was perfect…


	3. Gossip and Getting into Trouble

The sidekicks found themselves wandering around aimlessly through the forbidden areas with no clear goal in sight. So much for trying to prove themselves…

"This is more boring than just standing around." Stayne said.

"Are you kidding? This is so much fun!" Kronk said, nearly getting cheese from his pretzel all over the hyenas.

The three of them yelped and jumped back as the cheese missed them and hit the concrete just in time.

"Relax, beastie, at least we haven't been caught yet…" Diaval said as he took a bite of his churro.

The snakes rolled their eyes in annoyance while Ed laughed at them.

"Famousss lassst wordsss." Kaa said.

"Indeed." Sir Hiss said with a nod.

Shenzi growled, moving the turkey leg bone in her mouth back as Banzai tried to bite for a piece.

"You don't get anymore!" she said to him.

"Come on, can't I just have another piece?" Banzai asked.

"NO!" Shenzi said.

Ed laughed at them, which caused the two other hyenas to glare at him.

Helga groaned and threw away her Dole Whip cup into the nearest trash can. They were in SO much trouble thanks to Diaval.

"You do realize that the heroes will kill us for this, right?" she asked.

Diaval laughed and said, "Don't worry about it. Look, beastie, no one has seen us, we're fine."

_Don't call any of us beasties again…_Helga thought.

With that, they dashed off to their next location.

* * *

**Later…**

"So, did you guys hear the rumors that Kylo's been dating someone?" Kronk asked the other sidekicks.

They nodded, having witnessed the leader of the First Order come back to the hideout the very next day after he left the previous night. He had kept the secret confidential and not even Hux and Phasma knew who he was dating.

"Yeah, who doesn't?" Helga asked.

The others nodded at what she said. It was basically common knowledge…

"Let's take bets on who he's dating!" Banzai said while Ed nodded.

"Is that really necessary though? If he wants it to be personal, then it should be personal!" Shenzi said.

"When did you ssstart caring about that?" Kaa asked.

The female hyena shrugged in response.

"Wait, I believe that I saw him talking to his friends about it and indeed, he did not give a name to his love." Stayne said.

"Sssso, it'sss all a myssstery?" Sir Hiss asked.

Everyone nodded as Diaval smirked and pointed out the special guest rooms above Pirates of the Caribbean.

"I've seen him go up there once. It looks like he and his love…you know." he said.

The other henchmen cringed at him and shook their heads in response. All they wanted was just to go back before they got caught…

Suddenly, while Diaval was snickering to himself at their reactions, they were knocked out.


	4. The Dreaded Flagpole

"PULL! PULL! PULL!"

_What the hell? _Helga thought as she found herself coming back into consciousness.

Just like that, her worst fears were confirmed: she was tied up with the other henchmen and being dragged to the flagpole…and it was all Diaval's fault.

"This was probably a small mistake on my part." the shapeshifter said with a nervous laugh.

Ed laughed at him in response.

"Small?! You do realize we're caught, right?" Banzai asked.

Diaval tried shrug and said, "Look, beasties, maybe someone overheard our gossip and didn't want the word to get leaked on his possible girlfriend."

"Wait, you think that the girlfriend is one of these guys?" Kronk said.

The heroes just glared at them and continued to pull them along to the flagpole, still chanting to pull.

"Are you kidding? That's ridiculous! Heroes and villains never go for each other." Shenzi asked.

The others nodded at that comment. They never saw it happen and when it did, it was usually fake, an unhealthy obsession, or a former henchman and boss relationship.

"Ssstranger thingsss have happened." Kaa said while he and Sir Hiss tried to get out the restraints.

However, the heroes pulled tighter.

"Now, how will we essscape?" Sir Hiss asked.

They then arrived at the flagpole where the heroes hoisted them up and took photos of them hanging from the pole before leaving.

"We hate you, Diaval…" Helga said with a groan.


	5. Antics of the First Order

"And where do you think YOU'RE going?" Hux asked before Kylo could even grasp the door handle.

The Supreme Leader groaned and said, "I was only going outside."

Phasma walked up to Hux and stared at him before they turned their gaze to Kylo.

"About that…ever since you missed that one meeting after your little escapades on Valentine's Day, Hans wanted us to accompany you to Black Spire Outpost." she said.

"He has sent us alongside a few of my finest officers and Phasma's Stormtroopers to investigate Resistance activity." Hux said as he gripped onto the door handle.

_Patrol, of course…but what if she's there? _Kylo thought.

His mind went into complete panic mode while every worse-case scenario went through his head if Hux and Phasma discovered the identity of his girlfriend. However, first, he had to go through this and hopefully, he would have the time to set up a date.

"What are you thinking about?" Phasma asked, which made him jump.

"N-nothing…" he said, scratching the back of his head.

Hux rolled his eyes and opened the door, saying, "Just step out of the damn hideout…"

* * *

Batuu (commonly known as Galaxy's Edge) was always bustling with activity with the marketplace separating the Resistance's headquarters and Black Spire Outpost, the hideout of the First Order.

The trio stood with two Stormtroopers by their side while the officers paced around and glared at anything that looked remotely suspicious.

"If any Rebel scum comes one step towards our area, shoot to kill if needed." Phasma said.

"Affirmative, captain!" the Stormtroopers said in unison.

Hux noticed that Kylo was spacing out and groaned while shaking his head.

"Ever since you got this girlfriend of yours, you've been acting rather strange." he said.

Before the Supreme Leader could even respond, one of the Stormtroopers approached him.

"Uh, sir? We're getting reports of activity near the cantina. Apparently, your father's old ship is—" he began to say before Kylo grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the wall.

"DO NOT MENTION MY FATHER!" Kylo said.

The other Stormtrooper backed away, avoiding Phasma since he knew that one graze against her armor would send her into a frenzy.

"For the love of Chernabog, just let him go!" Hux said as he ran his fingers through his red hair.

"Ugh, FINE…" Kylo said, letting go of the Stormtrooper, who took a deep breath and returned to his position when his partner looked over at him in concern.

_At least he did what I said…_Hux thought.

An officer gestured to Phasma, who walked over and looked at the area beyond the cantina near the marketplace.

"Captain, miss, I believe I saw something." he said to her.

"Is that so?" Phasma asked.

The officer nodded and said, "It was some Resistance members near the Millennium Falcon. I recognized three of them."

She smirked to herself under the helmet, knowing exactly who he was talking about.

"Let me guess: the scavenger, the traitor, and the pilot…" Phasma said.

The officer nodded. Kylo overheard the conversation and felt his blood freeze completely upon hearing that.

_Shit! _he thought.


	6. Distance Between Us

The officer looked back and noticed they were gone, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"I believe it's a false alarm…it must have been a stray that they forgot to put away." he said.

Phasma glared at him and asked, "So, this was just a prank? I didn't think it was funny, so don't waste my time again."

The officer saluted her and ran back to investigate for anything suspicious. Kylo let out a massive sigh upon seeing Phasma shake her head at the officer and return to her patrolling duties.

"That was one dodged bullet." Kylo said to himself.

Hux looked at him and asked, "Pardon me?"

His best friend gestured that he was fine before walking towards the droid workshop. Kylo looked back to see if anyone was following him.

_Please don't look back…_he thought when he saw Hux and Phasma in the middle of giving orders to the officers and Stormtroopers.

Once he was at the edge of the droid workshop (which led into Resistance territory beyond it), Kylo examined the area before reaching into the Force to talk to Rey. He could see her hiding near the stairs with Finn and Poe in the distance, possibly spying on his group.

_I'm SO glad you were able to avoid my friends._ he said through the Force.

_It was easy. I saw Captain Phasma's armor shining all the way from the Falcon and just led my friends in the other direction._ Rey said to him from the Force.

Kylo smiled to himself and leaned against the wall.

_Clever girl, that's why I love you…_ he said with the Force

_I know. Sadly, I may have to end this because I'm on patrol with Finn and Poe. _she said with a sigh.

He nodded before returning to his friends, who were waiting impatiently for him.

"Don't even think about running off like that again!" Hux said after he stopped tapping his foot in annoyance.

Kylo rolled his eyes and said, "Sorry that I just HAD to upset you!"

_Ugh, men…_Phasma thought while watching the argument.

* * *

**Meanwhile…**

"So, how's your boyfriend?" Poe asked in a sing-song voice.

Rey laughed at him and blushed in response. Her friends were the only ones who knew about her relationship with Kylo and she planned to hopefully keep it that way.

"He's on patrol for the First Order at Black Spire Outpost with General Hux and Captain Phasma." she said. "It's a shame that I can't talk to him directly because of this massive divide…"

The scavenger Jedi gestured to the areas that were Resistance, First Order, or neutral territory.

"But you were just talking to him through the Force. That's sort of like having a face to face conversation with him." Finn said before ducking down when he thought he saw a Stormtrooper.

"It's more like telepathy though. I haven't seen or spoken with him face to face since Valentine's Day. Lately, we've been talking through dreams or using the Force." she said.

Finn and Poe nodded, knowing how much fun she had with him on that day to the point where she was running late for patrol the next day.

"At least the Resistance can be relaxed about nearly missing patrol." Poe said with a shrug.

_Thank god that they let me off the hook without knowing about Ben…_Rey thought.

With that, she focused on her patrolling duties.


End file.
